Groan if you must

I like bad puns. I can’t explain why. I know it seems incongruent with my otherwise sophisticated sense of humour, but a good bad pun just tickles my humerus.

When I was in Alice Springs in the early eighties I saw a butcher’s shop with a sign that said “We’re pleased to meet you with meat to please you.” I took a photo of it.

Once, I sent ten puns to a newspaper pun contest, hoping that one of them would win. But no pun in ten did. OK, that one’s not true but the butcher’s shop one is. So is this one:

The other day I was watching ‘The New Inventors’ on TV and saw two guys who had invented a lawnmower attachment that digs holes in the lawn as you mow. Apparently, this is good for the lawn because it allows air and water to get to the roots of the lawn, and this promotes growth. The device consists of a series of rotating blades on a horizontal bar mounted at the front of the mower. At the end of their presentation one of the guys said, “Our invention is at the cutting edge of grass-roots technology.”

I’m going to buy one just because of that comment.